life is like a box of chocolates

and at the moment all i seem to be getting are the hard ones....

if it wasn't for Bear i don't think I'd want to be here....

I have often wondered how mothers can up and leave their kids and never come back.....

well today it's not that hard to understand their mind set!!!

Girls night out

had a great night out last night.....met up with a very good Friend of mine that had moved to Middle marsh in QLD last August.....didn't know if i was going to be able to make just cos I've been so tired lately..but made myself make the effort..

very much worth the effort too...great night...drinks, dancing and girly chats...and an awesome band on at the Blackbutt...


Plus no hangover today!!!!

brilliant

Wait n see

I have made an appointment on the 7th August with a lovey Dr in the Linguard who is said to be a very helpful Dr...my friend went to see her after the birth of her second child and she does not make you take the medication if you don't want to and if she feels that there is not a real need for you to do so...a high dose of Omega 3 fish oil is said to be very good for this kind of depression...so I'm going to try and find some today..

i still feel that it is somewhat related to my periods as it is a week away and the rage/overwhelm feels that i have are getting stronger...now is the time that i seem not be able to cope with DollyGirls crying at all...not even for a minute!!!

But when it's over i can deal with her crying ok...not brilliantly but ok...

oh well it's a wait n see i surpose

Dance like nobody's watching.....

These are the lyrics for a song by Paul Greene....

You're just got to work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt,
Dance like nobody's watching, you only get what you deserve.
Trust like you've never been lied to; know who you want be.
You get to choose what you want to believe in,but you gotta be free.

I think that to try to do one of those things is so hard but would be so worth it

blessings

i don't think you can ever post too many photo's this cute

"Now what's for dinner mum?"



"Any good movies on?"



Ok where do i go from here?




"Can't see me...way too many toys"

The good, the bad and the plain ugly

The Good.....

DollyGirl slept thur the night last night....10pm till 6:20am.....woohooo.....never thought it would happen so soon....now just got to make it happen every night...

Also went to Lizotte's on Thursday night with some friends...and i highly recommend it to anyone...it was a great night...we had dinner then sat and watched/listened to Paul Greene...who I'd never heard of until that night...but what performer...he is a singer/songwriter...and a great one at that...and if i can work out how to load a play list thingy onto my blog will upload some of his songs...but then you guys may already know him....

Lizottes is a music venue that used to be the Kings theatre, it supports local talent

Have to say some of his songs really touched me and made be realise how low I've been in the past few months as i have stopped listening to the music i love and dancing with Bear like we used to most days at some point in the day.....


Have done that yesterday and will do again today.....

The Bad....

hmmm...very sorry Teach but my homework for YAAD is very much not done.....cant seem to pull my finger out of my behind and get down to it....there is always something else to do...like gardening....watching TV.....bad girl...very bad girl.....will have it done by Monday....course i will!!!!

And the plain ugly...

I had a question a while ago that i wanted to know the answer too...do your pubic hair go grey....well I've got the answer yes they bloodily well do....i got a shock this morning in the shower......now i really am feeling my age!!!!!

PJ's got to love them!!!

and I've spent the last couple of days in them...due to having the flu....yes there was i thinking that I'd got away from catching whatever Hubby & bear had.....no i didn't catch that..i got the bloodily flu....

Got hit by a mack truck did i...went down like a sack of shit!!!!

fever...nose running all the way to England and back.....aching all over and then some.....

But thanks god for Hubby....he did all the night feeds on Sat & Sun so yours truly could sleep and sleep i did...like the dead...which at one point one did think i was close to it......pity....pity...pity.....but I'm on the road to recovery and no my flu did not go......oink, oink, oink

One thing that i have decided to do is get some professional help re my depression...because i do think that is what i have...

i cant seem to find joy in my children at all and the only things that seem to make me feel even a little bit human is the time i get away from them and then it never seems long enough...

so...

i call the lovey Doc i went to see with Olivia back in April and I'm getting a referral to a lady who works out of the Linguard...she works with post-natal depression.....if i can get away from having to have medication i will be happy but i understand that i may need it so will take it without compliant...

i really really really what to be able to control my rage.....i seem to get anger at just about anything these days and poor Bear cops it....not fair....not right either..so lets hope something will work

Blessings