well it's official......i'm mad, cookoo, loony, crazy, nuts, raving,stark raving bonkers

yes all that and more!!!

am on medication for PND.....which is Post natal depression...doc thinks that i have had it since Bear was born...but as i was exercising and taking herbs etc...i managed to keep it in check..

When i fell pregnant, well the feel good hormones helped...then wham....PND back again but worse as it was not treated right in the first place...

So now I've decided to put my hand up and get the help need to get myself back on track....

one and for all...

I did go to my own Doc last time with Bear...but he really didn't explain things the way this other Doc has done...well she does specialize in treatment of women with PND...

I told her that i hate the feeling of being out of control and that last time i felt really spaced out on the meds...so I'm only taking 1/2 tablet for the first 4 days then 1 tablet (10mgs) per day

it's day 2 and well...we will wait and see

this Doc did mention something that i thought was very interesting....

She said that having a mental problem after you have had children can effect your bond with them!!!!

And bond is not about how much you love them...

it's to do with the "dance" and how you "mesh" with them....

Now that really did ring some bells for me...as Bear has always been very much..."no mummy do it"..."i want Mummy" and he follows me around all day everyday.....

me thinks my bond is not "meshing" that well with him yet...

Also she said that my need to have time away from that kids to keep me "Sane" also come from the PND...as women that have adjusted to motherhood will often love to have time off/away from the kids but unlike me.....don't need it to keep them sane....

I'm so glad i went to see her...am going back to she in 2 weeks to talk about how the meds are going and she may add a mood adjustment drug into it as well...cos i can go from happy...to crankypants in seconds these days!!!

Thanks for that support via the comments, really helps

Blessings
Helen

PS...when asked on the forms what religion i was....i put down Wiccan...first time I've done that!!!!